Paul’s Reviews Of Assorted Random (mostly) B Movies:
A Clockwork Orange: a B-Movie perspective.
Just because it’s a classic doesn’t mean we can’t view it as if it were trash.
A Scanner Darkly, a semi-animated
adaptation of the Philip K. Dick novel.
Adventures In Dinosaur City,
a children’s adventure of uncommon ridiculousness, featuring rubber dinosaur heads.
Aeon Flux, a glamorous futuristic action
movie based on an even more empty-headed cartoon.
Art School Confidential —
not really a B movie, but a more or less arty adaptation of Daniel Clowes’
underground comic, Eightball.
Baise-moi, a nihilistic French thriller
made by porn actresses, which includes hardcore sex.
Bottoms Up, in which Jason Mewes romances
Paris Hilton. Yeah, exactly. Jason Mewes as in Jay And Silent Bob.
And Paris Hilton.
Boxing Helena, in which David Lynch’s
daughter self-destructs her career before it can even start.
Butterfly... our first unforgettable
experience of living legend Pia Zadora.
Caligula, the legendary failed attempt
to unite grand epic filmmaking with porn.
Two cheap eighties thrillers by Albert Pyun:
Dangerously Close and
The First Spaceship On Venus,
Roger Corman’s english-dubbed butchering of the first big attempt at an
interplanetary adventure behind the iron curtain.
Fuzz, a crude effort by primitive early man at
combining comedy with cop action.
Hotel, in which Mike Figgis brings the indie WTF.
I Know Who Killed Me.
Lindsay Lohan attempts to salvage her career and reputation with some serious
acting, in a movie that cannot be taken seriously.
The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus
— in context. This examination of the overall career and latest
film of the great Terry Gilliam really doesn’t belong with B movies, but I
don’t have any A-movie page.
Nude On The Moon... the
greatest cheap spaceship movie ever created.
Three by the great French crapiste Jean Rollin:
Rape Of The Vampire, Requiem For
A Vampire, and Shiver Of The Vampires.
Santo vs. the Martians —
just like the name says: Santo, the mightiest of all masked
luchadores, wrassles some Martians.
Southland Tales — a big
sprawling epic full of bold imagination and meaningful issues... as those
things are conceived by an incoherent moron.
Subhuman, in which a drug-addled loser
is secretly protecting the human race from evil parasites.
Tail Sting... Scorpions On A Plane!
Teenage Caveman, in which Larry Clark’s
special knack for wallowing in youthful hedonism goes post-apocalyptic.
Vampyros Lesbos — a typical
specimen from the oeuvre of Europe’s king of crap, Jesús Franco.
(Note: If you want to read good reviews of B movies, you should go to
And You Call Yourself A Scientist! instead.